Vexars: Heroes Who Annoy
B. Joseph Huffman
copyright 2012 by B. Joseph Huffman
Smashwords Edition
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Special thanks to my sister, Bryde, for proofreading this story.
Roger Hill, a brown-haired, blue-eyed man who looks to be in his mid-twenties, is guest speaking at a conference of the United Planetary Council. His idea is one that will change the world as we know it.
“The Vexars are to establish and uphold truth, justice, and the laws of the civilizations they come into contact with,” Roger recites from his well-prepared speech.
When Roger is finished speaking the conference goes into recess so the council members can deliberate.
“How do you think I did?” Roger asks his four friends once he reaches the corridor where they are waiting for him.
“Wonderfully,” Amy Cornillius, a brown-haired, green-eyed girl also in her mid-twenties, answers lovingly.
“I have to admit,” Professor Numb McWierd, another girl who looks to be in her mid-twenties, but has curly black hair and brown eyes, begins. “This is one time that you have finished what you've started.”
“Its pass or fail from here,” Fonz Heart, a man in his mid-twenties with long brown hair and brown eyes, states.
“Thanks for the confidence,” Roger Hill tells his best friend with a hint of sarcasm.
“Look at the bright side,” Bo McWierd, who would look exactly like Roger Hill if he ever changed out of his racing coveralls, begins. “If the Vexar project fails, you'll have more free time.”
“Oh, whee,” Roger Hill replies to his identical cousin with even more sarcasm than he put into his response to Fonz.
“You could always go back into teaching,” Amy Cornillius reminds her boyfriend.
“I will have to remember that,” Roger responds as he gently kisses his girlfriend's cheek and begins to walk away. “I have to get back to the center of attention.”
A few hours later, Roger Hill and his four friends are in his cousin Numb's laboratory, which happens to be inside the peak of a Canadian mountain. The place is often referred to as Numb Mountain.
Bo McWierd, Numb's twin brother, lays on a sofa. “I don't believe it,” he says astonished. “They actually passed the Vexar project.”
Roger, who paces back and forth across the rock floor, thinking, responds, “See what a little bit of faith can accomplish?” Roger stops pacing and smiles. “They even insisted that I appoint my highest ranking staff.”
“So, what roles do we play?” Fonz asks excitedly, sitting straight up from his slouching position in an armchair.
“You will be my second-in-command,” Roger smirks as he answers his best friend. “Amy will be our Head of Defense, Numb will be our Head of Offense, and Bo will be our Head of New Memebers and Repairs.”
“You might want to rethink that,” Numb states matter-of-factly. “Bo can't repair anything. When he tries, the object he's repairing never works again.”
“You are only saying that because he's your brother,” Roger rebukes.
“Really?” Numb asks. “Who was the last person to work on your toaster?”
“Speaking of my toaster,” Roger begins, “it has been a month and he's still not done fixing it. I have toaster parts all over my counter.”
“He's your identical cousin,” Numb reminds him.
“He's your twin brother,” Roger argues. “However, I see your point. We'll hire someone to do the repairs.”
In an unknown location, a woman in her mid-twenties wearing red gloves, boots, and dress with a black belt, streaks across the sky with her black hair flowing in the breeze. She lands in what looks to be a ring of fire.
Already standing inside the ring of fire is another woman in her mid-twenties. She has long-blonde hair and eyes that glow a solid red color. She wears an orange pantsuit with a red belt that is wider on her left side than on her right and red knee-high boots. Her pale skin looks almost ashen white.
“Am I late, Speedway?” The woman in red asks.
“No, Airhead,” Speedway answers. “Mutthead and Kwim haven't arrived yet.”
A man in his mid-twenties with brown hair and wearing a black pantsuit with a big brown M on his chest, brown belt, boots, and gloves, and a woman, also in her mid-twenties in a sea green pantsuit with a big red K on the top and red belt, gloves, and boots, enter through the flames of the ring of fire.
“What's the plan?” Kwim asks, the flames shadowing her sea green skin and waist-lenth red hair.
“To stop the Vexars before they can stop us,” the man she entered with answers.
“They are new and inexperienced,” Airhead ponders. “I don't think they will be any trouble.”
“Alright,” Mutthead responds, the solid brown eyeslits in his mask showing obvious disgust for the new band of heroes known as the Vexars. “But, if they decide to cause us any problems, I want them out of my life permanently. Until then, we will continue our crime wave as planned.”
“Soon every bank on this planet will be broke,” Speedway informs. “We'll be rich.”
“We will meet again tomorrow to discuss our progress,” Mutthead, the unofficial leader of this group of money hungry thieves, orders.
“I have this idea for a car,” Roger sates as he holds a set of blueprints while standing beside Numb's workstation. “Can you build it?”
Numb takes the blueprints from Roger's hands and glances them over. “No problem,” the scientist and inventor answers.
“How are the plans for Power Hall coming?” Roger Hill asks.
“Perfectly,” Amy answers, excited at the chance to use her architecture skills.
“How about the space crew?” Roger asks.
“I can only think of one person with enough flight experience for it,” Bo explains.
“I want a crew,” Roger informs, “not one person.”
“Can't he select his own crew?” Bo asks.
“Sure,” Roger answers. “Who is he?”
“Domingo Denado,” Bo replies.
“Our identical cousin?” Roger asks.
“Yes,” the race car driving cousin answers.
“No,” Roger begins. “With every mission he blows up a ship.” Roger waves his arms frantically as he explains his reluctance to hire his space-faring identical cousin. “Couldn't you come up with anyone else?”
“No,” Bo answers matter-of-factly.
“Then, against my better judgment, I'll agree to him being part of the team,” Roger reluctantly states.
“As your second-in-command, what would you like me to do?” Fonz asks.
“Call Domingo Denado and have him meet me at Amy's apartment in New York,” Roger instructs.
“Right,” Fonz replies. “Would that be long distance?”
“We're inside a mountain in Canada,” Roger states with sarcasm. “What do you think?”
“What's the area code?” Fonz asks.
“I don't know,” Roger answers. “Check the telephone book.”
“What's his telephone number?” Fonz asks.
“You live in Vermont,” Roger informs. “You should know most of this stuff.”
“555-4762,” Amy answers.
“How do you know that?” Fonz asks.
“I have a photographic and phonographic memory,” Amy explains. “I read the New York telephone directory from cover-to-cover.”
The President of the United Planetary Council appears on one of Numb Mountain's security monitors.
“Hello, Mr. President,” Roger greets. “To what do we owe the priviledge of your call?”
“There has been a rash of bank robberies throughout the Earth within the last few minutes,” the UPC President explains. “It appears as though they are being robbed by people with super-human abilities.”
“We'll get right on it, Sir,” Roger informs. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“See that I don't,” the President orders as his image disappears from the monitor.
“I could use my powers of telekinesis to transport the rest of you to where banks are being robbed by super-humans, but I would have to stay here,” Bo informs.
“Make it happen,” Roger orders.
The room is suddenly filled with a bright yellow light. When the light dissipates, Bo is the only person left in the room.
Somewhere in France, Airhead follows Numb into a bank.
“Nobody move!” Airhead orders.
“Why does this happen every time I walk into a bank?” Numb asks with mock interest.
“Shut up!” Airhead demands. “I will blow your head off if you don't!”
“Do you really think that is necessary?” Numb yawns.
“I mean it,” Airhead reiterates, “one more word out of you and I will shoot your brains out!”
“Not with that six-shooter you're not,” Numb informs.
Airhead fires her pistol at Numb, but the Vexar catches the bullet in her hand. Airhead fires again, and the scene repeats itself. Airhead fires round after round at Numb and the Concentratian scientist catches every bullet.
“This is unbelievable!” Airhead looks shocked.
“I guess I should have told you that we Concentratians are immortal here on your planet,” Numb informs as she takes Airhead's gun away from her. “I had better take this before you hurt yourself.”
Bo teleports Numb and Airhead back to Numb Mountain where the two siblings place Airhead into a maximum security cell.
“You can't keep me in here!” Airhead yells.
“Bet me,” Bo gambles.
“I thought you gave up gambling,” Numb wonders.
“Nope,” Bo answers. “I just gave up professional gambling. I still do it as a hobby.” He pauses and glares at Airhead. “And only when I know I will win.”
Somewhere in South Africa, Amy Cornillius follows Speedway into a bank.
“Everybody on the ground! Now!” Speedway orders.
“Does that include me?” Amy asks with mock confusion. “I followed you in here.”
“Of course that includes you,” Speedway informs. “Now, kiss the floor before I shoot everyone!”
“What are you going to shoot us with?” Amy criticizes. “Tar guns?”
“Fireballs,” Speedway answers, annoyed by the unaccomodating hostage.
“I suppose you are going to shoot the fireballs out of your fingertips?” Amy asks somewhat interested.
“Yes,” Speedway huffs. “Would you like a demonstration?”
“No,” Amy answers. “Your shoes are untied.”
Speedway bends over to check her laces before she realizes that the boots of her costume are slip-ons.
Amy karate chops Speedway in the back of the neck while she's bent over.
“Why you little...” Speedway starts.
“I know,” Amy interrupts with a smirk.
“A cage of fire should hold you,” Speedway infuriates as a stream of flames come from her fingertips and forms into a cage of fire around Amy, making the Vexar appear trapped. The money hungry thief finishes robbing the bank and runs off.
Bo teleports Amy out of the cage of fire and back to Numb Mountain.
“I take it they all got away?” Roger asks when all of the Vexars have returned to Numb Mountain.
“All but this one,” Numb answers as she uses her thumb to point over her shoulder at Airhead in the cell behind her.
“Excuses?” Roger asks knowing he will eventually need them for the paperwork that will inevitably follow such a case.
“I was trapped in a cage of fire,” Amy explains.
“I was splattered in the eyes with water,” Fonz informs.
“I caught the one I was after,” Numb smirks. “What's your excuse?”
“He turned into a dog with four legs,” Roger explains. “He outran me.”
“You are inexperienced and unprepared,” Airhead growls from her cell.
“When I want your opinion, I will give it to you,” Roger snarls back at the captured thief.
“I hate to do it,” Numb informs, “but I have to agree with our prisoner.”
“Fine,” Roger states. “Let's get prepared. Have five of those cars build as soon as possible.” He turns to look at his girlfriend. “Amy,” he smiles. “Finish those plans for Power Hall and locate fifteen places around the Earth for them that will give us a tactical advantage.” He turns toward Bo. “Start mailing applications out and finding us new members. I will train them all myself if necessary.” he turns to look at Fonz. “Quesion the prisioner and then take her to the U.P.C. Building.” He starts to walk out the cave entrance. “I'm going to go talk to Domingo.”
Domingo allows Roger entrance into his house in New York once his identical cousin knocks. Domingo always wears his dingy gray coveralls from NASA that have his name patched onto the left shoulder and a pair of black hiking boots. Unknown to most, Domingo always carries a pair of squirt guns in the inside pockets of his coveralls, but they don't always contain water. The two identical cousins sit on opposite ends of Domingo's sofa.
“How's space?” Roger asks his space-faring cousin.
“It's still out there,” Doming answers, knowing that Roger will get to the reason for his visit soon enough.
“Didn't NASA go for the plan you had for a space craft that could explore outside the galaxy?” Roger asks, interested in knowing what's beyond the solar system.
“It wasn't in the budget,” Doming answers, acting uninterested in why NASA turned his plan down.
“Would you be willing to work for me?” Roger smiles an ornery smirk that tells Domingo that his cousin has got big plans and they are already in the works.
“Doing what?” Domingo asks, a little unsure of what his identical cousin has in mind.
“Exploring space,” Roger answers with a big grin. “I'm even going to have Numb build the space craft you designed.”
“I'll do it,” Domingo answers without hesitation.
“Great,” Roger declares. “I'll have someone call you when your ship is prepared. Until then, be thinking about who you would like to have on your crew.”
“I will,” Domingo states with a huge grin. He has dreamed of exploring the far reaches of the galaxy for over a decade.
“What did you find out from our prisoner?” Roger asks Fonz as soon as he enters Numb Mountain.
“She goes by the nickname Airhead,” Fonz begins. “Nobody seems to know what her real name is. She lives in the clouds. She flies. And, she tends to have a smart mouth.”
“The United Planetary Council will love her,” Roger rolls his eyes so everyone can see how sarcastic he's being.
“Do you think we stopped those villains just by taking away one of their members?” Amy asks in an attempt to get everyone back onto the task at hand.
“No,” Roger answers. “Next time they are going to want to go for something bigger.”
“Where do you think they will head?” Bo asks, determined to finish this case so he can get a few laps of practice driving his race car.
“They are after money,” Roger thinks. “What place has more gold than Fort Knox?”
“Fort Knox was one of the richest places in America,” Amy begins. “It stands to reason that a few money hungry bank robbers would assume that it still is. I think we should send a group there and leave a surprise waiting for them.”
“That sounds like a good plan to me,” Fonz smiles.
“How long do you think it will take them to hit Fort Knox?” Roger asks.
Bo turns on the television to see a commercial for the latest news report.
“Fort Knox has just been robbed,” the newscaster reports. “Which places we think will be next, along with all of our latest news coverage, tonight at five, six, nine, ten, and eleven.”
Bo turns off the television.
“Don't you just love it when characters know exactly when to turn on and off the television or radio?” Numb asks you, the reader, directly, temporarily stepping out of the story so the other characters don't hear. She turns to look at Roger. “The first car is done.”
“Good,” Roger answers. “Bo and I will take the first destroyer and go set up a surprise attack.”
“Destroyer?” Bo asks.
“It is what I have decided to name these new vehicles that look like cars,” Roger smirks. “They are going to be a great asset in destroying evil.”
“Where are you going to set up the surprise attack?” Amy asks.
“The New York Mint,” Roger answers.
“I'll meet you guys there in the second finished destroyer,” Amy informs.
“Alright,” Roger answers as he opens the driver's door of the destroyer. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” Amy winks.
Roger and Bo get into the destroyer. Roger presses a button on the dashboard marked plane, causing wings to unfold from under the car. The first destroyer flies out the entrance of Numb's laboratory and arrive and the New York Mint as it is being robbed.
“Care to drop your weapons?” Roger asks Mutthead, Speedway, and Kwim as they come running out of the New York Mint.
“That sounds like an idea to me,” Mutthead begins as he draws a gun on Roger. “Why don't you drop your weapons, since we do outnumber you!”
“Maybe in brawn,” Roger vocalizes without concern for the gun that Mutthead is brandishing, “but in brains, we definitely outnumber you.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Mutthead asks, completely confused by Roger's statement.
“It means that I'm the only one here with any brains,” Bo states sincerely.
“Besides,” Roger begins, “we don't carry any weapons.”
“That will make it so much easier for us to eliminate you,” Kwim states.
“I'm invulnerable,” Roger laughs as he telepathically explains to Bo his plan.
“No you aren't,” Bo argues with Roger.
“So,” Speedway begins, “you aren't invulnerable.”
“Yes we are,” Bo mimics the illusion that he's lying to her.
“Is it me, or is there two of them?” Kwim asks.
“There's two of us,” Roger states. “You should really go to a doctor and get your eyes checked. Here, let us help you find one.”
Roger looks at Bo and the gambling cousin uses his telekinetic abilities to throw Kwim clear to the center of the Atlantic Ocean where the money hungry villainess swims freely.
“Stop them!” Mutthead orders.
A stream of flames flow from Speedway's fingertips and trap the two Vexars in a ring of fire. She and Mutthead race off.
“Have you noticed what I've noticed about her fire?” Roger asks Bo.
“Besides the fact that it doesn't get hot,” Bo wonders. “No.”
“It doesn't make things hot,” Roger replies. “It's an illusion.”
The two identical cousins walk through the flaming mirage where Amy has just landed to meet them.
“What happened here?” Amy asks, concerned.
“We had a robbery in progress,” Roger answers his girlfriend. “It finished when the girl with hot hands trapped us in a mirage ring of fire and they ran off.”
“But, before they left, I dumped the green skinned lady into the Atlantic Ocean,” Bo adds.
“We have found out more about the thieves we're up against,” Amy begins. “The woman you call hot hands goes by the name of Speedway. The green skinned woman goes by Kwim.” Amy looks directly at Bo. “She lives in the water.” Amy turns her attention back to Roger. “The man they work with goes by the name of Mutthead. The only information Airhead hasn't given us yet is how to stop them.”
“How convenient,” Roger thinks out loud. “Where do you think they'll strike next?”
“Instead of going to them,” Amy ponders, “why not bring them to us?”
Roger Hill smiles at his girlfriend's plan. “Let's go. We don't have any time to lose.”
The three Vexars get into the two destroyers and fly off.
Later, Bo McWierd has used his telekinetic abilities to make the warehouse next door to the U.P.C. Building took exactly like the official structure. Amy, Bo, and Roger stand in front of the altered warehouse as Mutthead, Kwim, and Speedway step up to them.
“Let us in!” Mutthead orders.
“Who's going to make us?” Roger taunts.
Mutthead transforms himself into a big black dog with brown spots. He tries to attack Roger, but the Vexar quickly puts a collar on him and attaches a leash to it.
“Who's next?” Roger asks.
Speedway starts blasting at the three Vexars with her illusionary fireballs. Amy runs up to her and puts her in a headlock, grabbing the thief's hands and holding them behind her back.
“Do you give up now?” Amy asks.
Kwim starts throwing water balls at the Vexars. Bo uses his telekinetic abilities to divert the water balls back into Kwim's face, then he also uses his telekinesis to trap Kwim in an invisible cage.
“Look! A mime,” Bo jokes.
“Her face isn't painted white,” Roger informs. “Let's take them to the U.P.C. Building.”
Amy, Bo, and Roger drag the three money hungry villains next door to the real United Planetary Council building.
Amy, Bo, and Roger land the two destroyers inside Numb Mountain.
“These cars are nice,” Bo states as he gets out of one of the destroyers. “Do you think you can make me a motorcycle like one of them?”
“It's possible,” Numb answers.
“Can we make me one too?” Fonz asks.
“No,” Roger jokes. “We can only make you one, not two.” Roger turns his attention to Numb. “First we have to get Domingo's space craft built. He gave me the plans for it.”
“Hand them here,” Numb demands as she holds her hand out for them.
Roger hands Numb a set of plans. She looks at them, then looks back at Roger.
“I hope you have a different set of plans,” Numb hands the plans back to him. “These are the plans for your mansion.”
Roger takes the plans from Numb and hands her the right set of plans.
Months later, the Starship Justice is completed. Domingo boards the space faring vessel and within minutes the ship blasts off to the sky for it's final shakedown mission. “It flies like a dream,” Domingo states with a huge grin. “There's nothing left to do now but wait.”
Character Files:
Roger Hill-
Roger is part Concentratian on his father's side and part Earthling on his mother's side. While he has the powers of a Concentratian, he chooses not to use them. But, because his mother is from Earth, his powers are also diluted. He studies the art of being a hero with the New Recruits, under the tutorial of Voice while he also studied teaching and pediatrics at the University of Florida. He currently resides in Alaska. He is often seen wearing bluejeans, white dress shirt, and tennis shoes.
Fonz Heart-
Fonz is Roger Hill's best friend. He is a full-blooded Earthling. He is also a stuntman who enjoys putting his life on the line doing any kind of stunt. You will never see him without his leather jacket, tee-shirt, bluejeans, and tennis shoes. He currently resides in Vermont and is, in actuality, Amy Cornillius's younger half-brother.
Amy Cornillius-
Amy is Roger Hill's girlfriend. She is a full blooded Earthling, but she does have some dormant abilities, like her photographic and phonographic memory, and what she has dubbed her “lightning fist,” not because it's fast, but because an electro-magnetic pulse transfers from her fist to it's target when she hits it. Amy currently resides in New York, but does visit Roger as often as she possibly can between her careers as a lawyer and an architect. Amy prefers dress suits in the courtroom, but jeans and sweaters anyplace else.
Professor Numb McWierd-
Numb is Roger Hill's cousin of the same age. She is a full blooded Concentratian. She prefers to spend her time in her laboratory inventing and building new things. She prefers a life of seclusion, but her family drags her away from that life as often as they possibly can. Numb often wears red jeans and tennis shoes along with a white tee-shirt. Numb currently resides in her laboratory in Numb Mountain.
Bo McWierd-
Bo is Numb's twin brother and Roger's identical cousin. Roger's and Bo's fathers were identical triplets born to their Concentratian grandparents. Bo spends his time driving race cars and gambling on sure things. He's not afraid to spend a night on the town wearing his white tuxedo with light blue trim, but more often he is seen in his light blue racing coveralls with the white racing stripe. Bo currently resides in the hidden state of Valuu which can only be seen by Concentratian's, because it was created by Howard Hill, their grandfather, when he arrived on Earth from Concentratia.
Domingo Denado-
Domingo is Roger's identical cousin on his mom's side, making him a purebred Earthling, but Bo McWierd also claims Domingo as his identical cousin. Squirt guns are his weapons of choice, but sometimes he'll use lemon juice, milk, or some other liquid in them instead of water. When he's not traveling through space, Domingo resides in his house in New York.
Mutthead-
Mutthead is the unofficial leader of a group of thieves who call themselves Moneyhungry. No one quite knows where he resides, but he is often seen in the sewers of Florida.
Airhead-
Airhead has a unhealthy attraction for Mutthead. She would follow him to the ends of the Earth no matter what the cost. Her only desire is to please her master, Mutthead, who is only interested in money.
Speedway-
Speedway is impulsive. She wants money and she wants it now. She feels the easiest way to do that is by taking what she wants. She follows Mutthead because they have the same goals.
Kwim-
Kwim is more cautious than the other three members of Moneyhungry. Her only desire is to have the money to live comfortably in a large house with an even larger swimming pool.