On Course
Strategies for Successful Living
Richard R. Curren III
Tanya M. Curren
http://www.boundlesslimits.org
On Course: Strategies For Successful Living
Published by Richard R. Curren III & Tanya M. Curren
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 by Richard R. Curren III & Tanya M. Curren
Cover Art/Design by: Richard R. Curren III Book Design and Layout by: Richard R. Curren III Photography by: Richard R. Curren III
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. http://www.zondervan.com.
The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
Scripture taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
This book is not intended to take the place of sound professional advice offered by a physician, family therapist, psychologist, or licensed mental health counselor. Neither the authors nor publisher assume any liability for the possible adverse consequences as a result of the information
contained herein.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012901711
Published By: Boundless Limits International Inc. PO Box 3131 Easley, South Carolina 29641
http://www.BoundlessLimits.org Email: Richard@BoundlessLimits.org
Give feedback on the book at: Tanya@BoundlessLimits.org
***
Dedication
On Course is dedicated to Tanya, my incredible wife and the mother of my precious son, Pierce. Without you none of the dreams in my heart would have been possible. Thank you for believing in me. You inspire my faith and channel my visions. You have made me a much better man than you found me. You taught me who God is and who I am. May I never forget the difference. It is an honor to be your husband.
Richard R. Curren III January 2012
***
Praise For The Work Of Boundless Limits
Quotes From Boundless Limits Conference Attendees and Website Submissions
“I have never been to such an uplifting event. Your Boundless Limits program was awesome! Thank you for sharing your life with us. I know there were so many who identified with you, including me.” – G.I.
“Wow, Wow, Wow....What a powerful evening we had last night. Rick & Tanya are amazing and it was truly an Honor, Privilege and Blessing from God to have them at our gathering. Their teachings will continue to change the lives of others.” – C.L.
"Every time I receive one of your uplifting articles it is just like God is loving on me through you. You are a rare jewel.” – B.G.
“Your message gives me an opportunity to be blessed and to move forward and out of the shackles of shame! I must admit, I struggle sometimes with the not forgiving myself and with the realization that He could love me in spite of myself and mistakes! Thank you for helping me realize this!" – K.J.
“Thank you for these very encouraging words from God. I really need to hear this message and I can relate very much to what you shared. Your words have encouraged me to ask God to either answer the desire of my heart or give me a new desire. I keep reminding myself that HE is all we need. Thank you for being a blessing and for sharing your ministry with us.” - B.C.
***
Preface
Our passion is to see people live at the height of their dreams: free, passionate and purposeful. This is not a typical book. This book is a combination of the writings of both Richard and Tanya Curren, and this was written over the span of three years. It is a direct compilation of issues we have seen and dealt with in others as we have been in ministry. So many people ask us similar questions and deal with similar issues that each of these chapters cover. This book is broken into sections of things we all face. You may not be dealing with something in one section, yet you may connect with something in another. We encourage you to keep this book as a reference for yourself or someone you love as you face different adversities in life. This is an excellent resource for you and your family that we believe will encourage and empower you to live the life that God intended.
Foreword
Rick and Tanya Curren have dedicated their lives to encouraging and empowering people worldwide, from leaders of Fortune 500 companies, to the lost and wounded souls in our world today.
They left successful careers in the business world to answer a higher call and founded Boundless Limits International and Live Guilt Free. Through these non-profit organizations, they reach hurting people throughout the world to help them unlock their God given potential and live a victorious life. They are both inspirational authors and motivational speakers that God is using to help guide others to live a positive life in a negative world.
I have known them personally for over 15 years and they have been an inspiration to me and my family. I am honored to serve on their Board of Directors and have personally benefitted from their personal development coaching program. I highly recommend them and their spiritual resources for your personal and professional growth. They are a gift to a lost and hurting world as they bring God to people and people to God. This book is a true guide for living your life ON COURSE. It is my sincere hope you enjoy it as much as I have.
Dr. Brian L. Bohlman
LTC/CHAPLAIN, Air National Guard Founder, Operation Thank You & So Help Me God Project
Table of Contents
- Richard Curren
Chapter 2: Seven Ways To Value Yourself
- Tanya Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 4: Power Perceived Is Power Achieved
- Richard Curren
Chapter 5: You Have To See It To Be It
- Tanya Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 7: Charting Your Course
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 8: Discovering Your Purpose
- Richard Curren
Chapter 9: The Unstoppable Plan
- Tanya Curren
- Richard Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 12: Be a Freedom Fighter
- Richard Curren
Chapter 13: Follow Your Calling No Matter The Price
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 14: Finding Your Real Purpose
- Richard Curren
Chapter 15: Are You Spiritually Fit?
- Richard Curren
Chapter 16: Two Empowering Scriptures
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 17: Our Actions Grant Us Access
- Tanya Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 19: Changing Your Recipe Card
- Tanya Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 21: Don’t Torture Yourself
- Tanya Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 23: Whose Voice Do You Listen To?
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 24: You Are Not The Fire Department
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 25: Choosing To Forgive Yourself
- Tanya Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 27: Real Christian Service Defined
- Richard Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 29: Practicing What We Preach
- Richard Curren
Chapter 30: Handling Setback And Disappointments
- Richard Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 32: The Burden That Causes Breakdown
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 33: Ten Lessons I Learned In Adversity
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 34: Remaining Thankful Throughout Trials
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 35: Being A Sensitive Christian
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 36: When Life Is Not A Fairy Tale
- Tanya Curren
- Richard Curren
Chapter 38: Dealing With A Narcissistic Loved One
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 39: Enjoy A Guilt Free Holiday
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 40: Never Lose Your Voice
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 41: Being Present In Life’s Moments
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 42: Combating The World View Of The Perfect Holiday
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 43: Your Job Versus God’s Job
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 44: Training God’s Way
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 45: Do You Pull On God?
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 46: Barren Places In Your Life
- Tanya Curren
- Tanya Curren
Chapter 48: Spiritual Castration
- Richard Curren
***
A Healthy Self Image
Chapter 1: Coffee With God
Several years ago actor Morgan Freeman portrayed God in a movie “Evan Almighty.” What struck me so profoundly about Mr. Freeman’s performance was the compassionate, lighthearted, gentle and tender way in which he portrayed God. In the movie, God commands a modern man to recreate the ark of Noah’s time. The story itself is not the point here, but what is moving is that God is not angry, mean, scary, or stiff. Rather, He is very much a sweet and gentle spirit that still very much is intent on getting His point across to the main character Evan. He just lets Evan try to resist Him, all the while doing what He knows would finally get Evan to see the benefit of doing things God’s way. Think what you may about the movie, but it really impacted the way I thought about God. That movie got me thinking. What would God say to me if I could have one hour of His time?
What would God say to you over coffee? A silly question maybe, but still one worth pondering. If you had one hour with the Father, what would He say to you? Would you be afraid, or worried? Would He be upset and irritated? I don’t think so. I am in awe of God and His greatness. But I think sometimes that mental imagery blocks us from seeing Him as a loving, caring father. After much prayer and thought, I have written five things I believe God would say to you or me over a cup of coffee. So get a cup now and sit back and enjoy this chapter!
1. You Are Special
“Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD will hear when I call to him.”
Psalm 4:3
There is no one else in the entire history of mankind who is exactly like you. You may have a twin, look like your cousin, or get mistaken for a celebrity every time you visit Las Vegas, but you are still unique. In God’s eyes, looks aren’t important. It’s what is in your heart that matters to Him and that’s where personality and spirit differentiate you from everyone else He ever created or will create.
The fact that you are special to God is shown in the truth that He created you with special plans and desires just for your life. He gave you talents and abilities in combinations different from any one else. Finally, He created you and placed you in history at the exact time you are for a purpose and reason known only to Him. One thing is certain though; He placed you in this time for a reason and that alone makes you special. Esther, a heroine in the Old Testament was told this by her cousin Mordecai regarding her role in saving her people, the Jews, from a murderous decree given by her husband, King Xerxes of Persia. (Esther 4:14) Her intervention as the Queen saved her people from certain extermination. The Bible is full of stories just like this one.
In addition to being unique in your personality, God has given every believer His gifts of the Spirit. Every Christian is given at least one spiritual gift designed to serve the calling and commission of Christ. While there is some dispute as to the exact number of gifts, their existence is another way God sets you apart. The gifts are those things that we do supernaturally better than others. Some examples of the gifts are: faith, mercy, administration, leadership, prophecy, discernment, healing and service.
If you don’t know what your gifts are, I encourage you to take a simple test (there are many free ones available online) to discover what your gifts are. You will probably not be too surprised at the results, but you may be surprised at the amount you have. Armed with this knowledge, you will find that you can better target your efforts in serving God.
2. You Are Important
“As for those who seemed to be important—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance—those men added nothing to my message.”
Galatians 2:6
Important is defined as “of much or great significance or consequence.” (Dictionary.com) It is different from being special in that special is to be set aside for a specific purpose or use. Importance is the significance of that use. To be important, a person must have impact upon their environment or surroundings. Certainly the President is an important person due to the ability to issue policy and direct the nation. As such, he is afforded great power to carry out his job.
Similarly, we are important to God. We are here to carry out an assignment from Him. As such, we are His representatives, made in His image, commissioned to share His gospel and reach the lost. He gives us the power of the Holy Spirit through gifts to accomplish His work.
Importance is relative. You may be of low position in the world. That is all right. Some of the greatest workers for Christ clean toilets and scrub floors after everyone else has gone home. You may be of little means. That’s ok too. Paul wrote most of the New Testament while making tents to put food in his mouth. You may be of low education. No problem. Peter was a fisherman on the Sea of Galilee. Hardly the occupation of an educated man in his day. (Although now he could probably guest appear on the Discovery Channel’s “Deadliest Catch” and significantly improve his social standing!) Yet Peter was important enough to Jesus that He returned him to ministry even after denying Him at the trials in Jerusalem. True importance has little to do with money or position and a lot to do with passion, calling, and tenacity. God loves to confound the “wise” of our world by utilizing the least likely of our society to do the greatest things.
Perhaps it has more to do with availability to serve and humility. You are important to God when you allow yourself to be used in His will in His time. You are important because you may be the only one who that kid that nobody likes will talk to. You are important because you may be the only Christian on your shift at the plant. You may be important because you are the only “no” vote on a questionable matter at work. You see what I am saying. Importance to God has more to do with availability and willingness to obey than any other factor. Importance in God’s Kingdom is a lot easier to achieve than in our world. Thank God for that!
3. You Are Valuable
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16
Your value to God is incalculable. It would have to be for Him to send His only beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to die a horrifying death to wash away the sins of mankind. The Bible tells us we were bought at a price, the cost of Christ’s blood, and that alone makes us priceless. (1 Corinthians 6:20, and 1 Corinthians 7:23) Repeatedly in His Word God tells us that our value to Him is precious. He freed His people from slavery, oppression, disaster and conquest time and time again.
Aside from the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ, perhaps the most moving display for me is the discussion Abraham has with God beginning in Genesis 19:23 when Abraham pleads for the righteous in Sodom. God, thoroughly done with the depravity He sees in Sodom, has set to wipe Sodom and its evil population from the face of the Earth. Abraham begins negotiating with God at 50 people and gets Him down to 10. If just 10 people are righteous, God will spare the city. When even 10 cannot be found, God still allows Lot to escape the wrath that eventually engulfs the city. Lot was valuable to God.
Value is very different from being special or important. Something can have a special purpose and not be valuable. (Think of a bottle cap. Once it is removed, it serves no other purpose. While special in its function, it holds no intrinsic value.) Likewise, a person, like a celebrity, can be important yet offer no real value to society. Our magazines are filled with people who are famous only because they were born into a wealthy family and spend their God given time in pursuit of every pleasure they can indulge themselves in before they die. Value is the worth that you have to have to your society, and ultimately to God.
In the Bible, Jesus paints a distinct picture of value in two separate parables told in chapter 15 of the book of Luke. In the examples of the woman searching for the missing coin (8-10), and of the shepherd who leaves the heard to search for the one lost sheep (4-7) we read of rejoicing over the return of a lost item of great value. Prior to salvation, we are lost valuable items to God. He prizes EACH of us and wants to rejoice in our return to Him. Never doubt your value to God. Jesus didn’t.
4. You Control Your Destiny
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”
Isaiah 42:16
God would want you to know that He did not create an automaton for His amusement. He created a living, breathing, thinking entity with free will when he created mankind. “Why would he do that?,” you may ask. Surely with the pain and violence perpetuated around the world this might seem like a poor decision. Man continuously disappoints God with his sin and rejection of His laws. Creating automatons would have eliminated the likes of Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Adolf Hitler, Jeffrey Dahmer or Nero. But it also would have not allowed Him to create us in His image as loving, caring, expressive, creative, curious and giving.
No, God wanted living beings that would freely choose to love Him and that meant free will. Notice that the Scripture above says “…I will guide them,” not “I will take them,” or “force them.” No, God says He will guide. That is free will.
In giving us the gift of free will God also gave us the gift of designing our own destiny. We are able to make the choices that allow us to shape our lifestyles and futures as much as we are willing to work for them. Positive choices such as education, career training, marriage, having children, and employment are ways to enhance our lives. Negative choices such as substance abuse, promiscuity, crime, laziness, gluttony, sin, and rejection of authority are things that destroy our lives.
The Bible is God’s Instruction Manual for living for living a rich, wonderful life. God lays out His law not to be the galactic party-pooper, but to prevent us from coming to ruin. (You would think that the manufacturer would best know what is good and bad for the product!) Even still, in His love for us, He allows us to make our own decisions; good or bad. The great thing is, however, that He never abandons us in our decision. You will suffer the consequences of your decisions, but they will not remove you from a loving God. He will welcome you back to Him. Often, we are shielded from things we will never know of by a loving God. None of us ever gets what we truly deserve. In His grace God protects us, always urging us back toward Him and His will.
God wanted a relationship with us, not just the possession of property. While a stuffed animal may bring a child comfort, only its parent can return love to the child. The same is true for us. God desires our love even at the knowledge that we would disobey and sin. He wanted a relationship. Because He loves us, He wants the best for us. We make our own choices, but when we are seeking His will we can rest assured that He will act in our favor, give us His guidance, and protect us from a multitude of calamities. But remember, God also will eventually tire of disobedience. In Romans 1:24-25 Paul demonstrates this saying; “Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” The whole chapter speaks of God finally letting them go to pursue the desires of their hearts; desires that do not center on Him or following His will. Where do your desires lead?
5. He Loves You
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39
Without question, the most important thing that I believe God would tell any person is that He loves them. This single fact separates Christianity from every other faith on Earth. Christians serve a loving God, one that desires a relationship with His creation. The Bible is essentially a love story between God and His people. It is a story of love and forgiveness. These two components are equally important because Satan uses sin as the tool to drive us away from God.
Many of the people that my wife and I talk to in our ministry work aren’t lost in a sea of sin. They are good people who cannot forgive themselves, and therefore believe that God cannot possibly forgive them either. Many have no problem forgiving others, often of much worse offenses, but cannot comprehend the perfect love of God. This is not God.
God is like no person you know. He is perfect. He is not vindictive, rigid, and angry. He is not the great ant bully in the sky with a magnifying glass looking for someone to cook from on high. Nor is he the old schoolmarm with a clipboard, forever making notes in your “permanent record.” No, God is freedom and love, He is compassion and forgiveness. He is forgiving of the repentant heart. He is a gentleman and father.
So there it is. Five things I believe God would tell you over coffee. But above all, I believe that God would say this to you over a cup of coffee on a random Tuesday afternoon, “Don’t ever let anything keep you from coming to me. My Son died so that you would have that privilege, yet so few do. I want to be close to you and I care about you deeply. Trust in me, and you will have the peace so many want and so few have. If you remember nothing else from our conversation today remember this, I Love You!”
Chapter 2: Seven Ways To Value Yourself
The phone rings. You already have a million other things going on, yet you put them down to dash over and pick it up, knowing that it will make you late...again.
Your boss pops in right before you’re about to leave to go to your child’s game. Instead of asking for an extension or getting to the new task first thing in the morning, you miss your child’s event…again.
Your friend needs a favor…again. You have given and given, and yet they need more.
It’s the end of the day. You’ve worked hard and are ready to sit down and rest, but someone or something continues to pull on you, so you go to bed late and miss more sleep…again.
Do any of these sound familiar? Sure they do. That’s because life happens, and we can’t control every scenario and every part of our day. We can start out our day with a great plan but the reality is that as soon as our children get up or we get to work, more and more things pull on us and change the outcome of what we thought our day would be. Some of this is normal and has to be expected. But quite often we allow too many of these distractions and changes into our day. This isn’t just a sign of loose boundaries, this is a sign that you value others more than you value yourself.
This can be a tricky concept to grasp because there is a fine line between valuing yourself too little, versus valuing yourself to the point of being a narcissist. If you find that you put others and their needs before you and yours to the point of your detriment, this is for you. This is exactly what happened to me, and I didn’t even realize it until I stepped back and tried to figure out how to stop it.
Usually valuing others comes from a pure heart. Perhaps you were taught to love others as you love yourself, which is a beautiful thing that Jesus taught us in the Bible. (Matthew 22:39/Mark 12:31/John 15:12/Galatians 5:14/James 2:8) Maybe you are a people pleaser, and it makes you genuinely happy to see others get what they need. Or, perhaps you are a performance based person, and you feel valued from the feedback and praise that others give you when you are able to help them.
Even if your motives come from a good place, the outcome can still have a negative for YOU. Every time you value someone else’s time/circumstance/need over your own, you decrease the value and importance of yourself. You are showing yourself and others that your time/circumstance/need can be placed on hold while you fulfill theirs, and this is not healthy for you in the long run.
Again, I’m not talking about loving your neighbor or changing your schedule to help someone. I’m talking about continual patterns of exhaustion and frustration, where you feel pulled in a million directions by the end of the day. This is not how God wants you to live, and it isn’t healthy for anyone to give to the point of having nothing left for yourself.
Practical steps for valuing yourself
Most importantly, always remember how much God values you
Jesus says in Matthew 10:29-31, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Listen to this great commentary that the Bible gives for these verses above: “Jesus said that God is aware of everything that happens even to sparrows, and you are FAR more valuable to Him than they are. You are so valuable that God sent His only Son to die for you (John 3:16). Because God places such value on you, you need never fear personal threats or difficult trials. These can’t shake God’s love or dislodge His Spirit from within you.”
I love this! What a great reminder of how much God loves and values us. Too many people are walking through our world full of self-loathing and hatred. They view themselves as worthless and unimportant. We need to always remember that in a world of billions, God knows us so intimately that He knows the exact number of hairs on our head. The visual of that just blows me away. I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast, much less try to even guess how much hair I’m sporting!
One of the very important jobs we have as Christians is to share the massive love of Christ with others so they will have be able to live in freedom and value themselves as God does!
Learn the art of saying no
Being able to decline someone or something truly is art form, and it takes time to develop. As with many things, I am still in the process of developing this art in myself. It used to be so extremely hard for me to say “no” to anyone or anything because I truly wanted to help. But what I found was that I gave to the point of feeling stretched like a rubber band, and often my needs were put so far on the back burner that they were not being met.
If you are experiencing these feelings, I want you to start practicing saying no to things that pull on you the most. Heads up, it is hard to do when you first start and people may be shocked. But it the reality is that it will bring you freedom and peace when you are able to set that boundary and protect your time.
Take control of what you can