Excerpt for RPM's miscellaneous by Roger Mouflier, available in its entirety at Smashwords

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RPM’s miscellaneous
by Roger Philip Mouflier

Published by Prosper Street Productions at Smashwords

2nd Edition 2012

Copyright 2009 by R.P.Mouflier

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/rogermouflier

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Edited by Sherri-Lynn Begalke

http://www.prosperstproductions.com

***************

RPM's miscellaneous CONTAINS:

TIME
RANDOM
PEOPLE
MACHINE
APART

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***************

TIME

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FOREVER NEVER ENDS

Circles
Lines
Shapes and colors
No beginning
No direction or intention
No end

THE MAN WHO MADE TIME STOP

Does anyone remember?
The Man Who Made Time Stop
With a wave of a hand

Can you recall an age?
When Time did not exist
The Clock never moved
The Sun always shined
Dreams were magic movies
You could never stay awake long enough
To finish
Warm pajamas
Fragrant sheets
Soft pillows and safety
And the best sleep you ever had
Because
You didn’t know what you would one day wake up to

THE LAST FRONTIER

It’s Midnight
Energy is everywhere
Night is a living breathing creature
That has come out to play with us
If only for a little while

Those of us who stay awake long enough
Get to see it in a different light
A gift that’s given with Love

Our senses awakened by the breeze
Breathing on our skin
The air breathes itself back in
Humanity’s last frontier
Out there somewhere on a two lane black top

I CANNOT THINK OF A NAME

Travelling further and further down
A road paved in deceit
Waking in the early morning hours
Making quiet escapes from the night before
Asking redundant questions to the absence of an audience

There is no logic here
Only chaos
To keep me alive and on edge
When Life seems to settle down a little too much

Nothing is ever done
For the sole purpose of doing it
It just happens
These are the reasons for my decisions
Even if I can’t decide

FOR A CHANGE

You cannot change
That you will change

ANCIENT YOUTH

Ancient Soul veil
Young Flesh
A fresh new face for the crowd

FIRE IN THE YARD

Backyard party on Prosper Street
A day spent planning
Preparing for the night’s festivities

The sky grew darker
We were anxious and excited
The Fire burned bright enough
To create a day time illusion
Until we brought it down to reason
So we could cook over it

After we finished our feast
We carried on into lost logic
Finding friends against the fence

We could not sleep until dawn
There is never enough time
To do everything you need to
As tomorrow became today
We were still alive but
The rust was beginning to show

HIDING/SEEKING

I ran as she chased me
From yard to yard
Down the lane
Laughing
Using the night’s blanket
For cover

I NO NOTHING

Life has a way
Of allowing people
To wall themselves in
A world in which
You are the center of the universe
Where nothing matters except you
Reality has a sure fire method
Of slowly breaking it down
Chipping away the wall
For as long as it takes
Until you wake up in a new world
As an insect in the streets

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

We all feel the need to be immortalized
Leaving a foot print
A name and date etched into a sidewalk somewhere
A memory burned into a mind

HUMAN HIGHWAY

People and places on the highways of life
Around and round we go
Never knowing where we’ll end up

INSIDE THE OUTSIDE

What a strange and unusual life I’ve lived
If my story were told
No one would believe it
Exciting
Ordinary
Surreal
I was an outsider once
Always looking in
From the abandoned fields of rebellion

ON THE PORCH

Something is going on here
But
Nothing is really happening
I’m just sitting on my front porch
Drinking beer
Reading and writing
Thinking

They think I know
What I’m doing all the time
If only they knew!
The truth
I’m as lost as the rest of you
But
I’m no longer afraid to face
The staring shadow in the corner

A life full of strangers called friends
A complete mystery even to me
I wonder what they think

Nothing is ever for certain
So I live for today on my front porch
As tomorrow could be gone before I wake

FRIDAY NIGHT SCENE

A handful of cigarettes and a bunch of time
Friday Night had just been born
I was there waiting
Waiting to run with it
To take it as far as it could go!

It started slowly at first
Time down to a stop
Very little movement

People came and went
Talking about the possibilities
The evening’s unrealized potential
The cars trickled down the street
A park watched from across the way
It seemed that everyone
Had someplace to go
Except me

I knew the night would come
Together soon enough

PEOPLE IN THE STREET

People in the street ask me for change
And yet
They are unwilling to change

UNTIL THE WEEKEND COMMITS SUICIDE

Staring out the window
Looking at the future
Tomorrow threatens to make me sleep
Today has almost perished
Yesterday is already forgotten
Weekly cycle of biding my time
Time spent waiting on a call
From my friend Friday
Calling on his two sisters
Saturday and Sunday
We’re gonna go until
The weekend commits suicide

AS LONESOME AS I

While walking alone in the rain at night
I finally found something as lonesome as I

TO ME IT DOES IF NOT TO YOU

I wish I could walk into nowhere
Step into a void and disappear
Maybe then I could find myself
Someone like me

OUT AND IN

Are we all looking out from within?
Sharing the inside with the outsider’s perspective

ARE YOU STILL HERE?

Are you still here?
Speak to me to prove your existence!
Do something to show me you’re real
Appear before me so I can witness your face
I need to know
Are you still here?

LOCKED IN

I’m locked inside my head
With no chance of ever escaping

A FUNERAL SUMMER SONG

Faded sunshine
On the cheeks of small children
Autumn leaves
Beneath their feet
Changing and dying
Summer’s funeral
She died so young!
Winter’s growing cancer
Inside her blackened lung
Heavy coats
Dragged out of the closet
Toques
Gloves
Sweaters and scarves
Waiting for their time
To step out on stage
In Death
The Summer was barely present
Her absence an abscess
Cold pain alone

STORM PICTURE

Natural
Power
Energy

A great storm begins
Reluctantly at first
And then it comes
In a full attack
Raging down on the city
Thunder’s gunfire
Brilliant lightning
Pounding rain
Coming together
To form a picture
From beyond this world

The windows rattle
As the lights go dim
Off and on
On and off

Again
The storm comes

PICTURE STORM

Beneath black skies above
Cold water
Washing away the dirt from the streets

Hypnotized
Dazed
Confused
Running for cover
Trapped out in the rain
It’s too late now
There’s nowhere to hide
Drenched with fists clenched
Soggy newspapers
Held above expensive hair
Streams of makeup
Trickling down their cheeks
On angry faces dripping in despair

ROOTS

I can’t find a way out of this place
The city of my birth
A prison
There were so many doors to choose from
As the years came to pass
My soul remained chained
Rooted to a single speck of dust
On a great and giant planet of possibility

TIME

Time is running out
It’s time now to go

NOT THE NIGHT

For eighteen years
I’ve been in love
I was so young
When I saw her at a glance
Beautiful
Amazing
Brilliant

I still see her as she was
She’s the same in my eyes
Time cannot tarnish her with age
She retains eternal youth
For as long as our love exists
She is forever

However
We are both aware
Of the helpless tragedy
That we must face
She cannot be with me
Or anyone else because
She is not a person and
I am not the Night

NEVER ENOUGH

I am on fire, I am alive!
My star is on the rise
Only to fall

My time is today
There are no tomorrow’s left
To waste

RIGHT TO LEFT

The right time has come when
There is little time left

TIME TO ROLL

In the great and immortal words
Of Lee Ernest Nolin:
“It’s time to roll”

COLD BROTHERS AND WARM SISTERS

Fall has come to break our Summer dreams
To be led into Winter’s submission
The Cold Brothers work against us
Or so we might like to believe
When he comes to take the place of his kin
And how we loathe his arrival
As we mourn her departure

The Cold Brothers are despised for no reason
Except for doing what they’re supposed to
The Warm Sisters are seen with fierce love
Seasons of refuge from their siblings
We run to them
As though they will heal us
Releasing us from the dreary confines
Of tight warm places

JANUARY

January is a cold grave

TIME IS MONEY

You make time more valuable
When you spend it with me
It’s priceless because
There is never enough
To last forever

AS THE YEARS PASS

Everything happens so fast
It’s hard to keep an eye on the time
As the years pass
People spread apart
Like the wings of an eagle
Everyone flies somewhere else
Leaving friendships and good times
As presents of memory

IT’S ALL GOOD

In the afternoon
Sitting in a local restaurant
Eating a greasy meal
Talking to the friendly waitress
Thinking of last night’s rise and fall

It began in anticipation of excitement
There were no clocks
No limits
No time
We had eternity to destroy ourselves
Forever to find a place to crumble and fall

I fell asleep outside
Across the street
From the bar
My friends woke me up
Shoving me into a cab
Before I could be pissed upon
They tried to abduct me
For more good times
But
I escaped and slept
On my bathroom floor



(back to top)



WATCHING THE RISE OF THE FALL

Summer is dead
Killed by the rain
The softness of sunshine
Maimed and murdered
Autumn has come
To take us to the Winter
Summer’s ghost still lingers
On a Saturday afternoon

THERE’S NO GOING BACK

Faded ghost locked in memory
Scents
Sights and sounds
I can almost reach
Infinite corridors of life
The past long dead
Taunts me in the present
Laughing into the future
A mantra:

There’s no going back
There’s no going back
There’s no going back

FACE OF FACES

Faces of Past
Faces of Present
Faces of the Future
I face them all
Yesterday
Today
And Tomorrow
SEARCHING
I searched my dreams and memories to find you
Only to find you beyond my reach

THE COMING SUMMER

Summer is coming!
To deliver us to another door
Through one we can walk
Back into the world of warmth and sunshine

UPSIDE DOWN

I remember the first time
My world was turned upside down
I was 12 years old
In the death of a family friend
Confusion
Anger
A circle of friends
Torn apart
I was shipped off to an aunt
When I returned
My world was a darker place
The villain had bested the hero
The cat ate the mouse
Nothing could ever be right again
As I was once and always told
There was now death in life
No one was immune
There was no cure for isolation
No way to get back

MOTORCYCLED

Elementary school
French emersion
Kids dropped off in minivans
Family sedans
Trucks
A motorcycle stops at the curb
I get off and go inside
Clutching my helmet tight
Curious glances from my classmates
A glaring principal
Sympathetic teachers
Everyone made me feel awkward and ashamed
Not near as ashamed as I feel now
For ever feeling that way
I was never one of them and I’ll never be
I’m proud of who I am
I love being me

24/42

I recall a time when
The hours were like days
The weeks were months
Stretching into years that lasted for decades
A man of 24 looks into the mirror
At the 42 year old man staring back at him

ROUND AND ROUND

Living in a whirlwind
Round and round we go
The floor comes up
The ceiling falls
Walls turning
Round and round we go
The week is a prelude
To the weekend’s steady cycle
Spin and spin until it’s spun
A web of madness
From within the mirror
Comes inside out

M OF M

Morning of mourning
The passage of friends
Lovers and time

SUMMER

Oh summer!
Where art thou?
I miss you so much
And
Love you with all of my heart
Can you remember all the time we spent?
Together
Those precious little moments we shared
Like secrets between small children
Whose oaths and promises mean the world
We were meant for each other
I noticed you from day one
I saw how everyone wanted you
And how sad they were whenever you left
I always waited for you
To come back for me
For you I was always faithful
I just thought you should know everything
And that
I’ll always be here waiting for you

THE INFINITES

Empty lines on telephone vines
Running from pole to pole
Endless railroad tracks
Stretching out across the land
Eternal highways carving paths
Through the invisible wall of a sleepless city
Imaginations rise and shine
In the sun’s ocean of sky

FUTURE

The future is bright
Brighter than it’s ever been
It’s a friendly place
I’ve always wanted to see

S

Secrets in the sand
Scattered all across the land
Deep beneath the surfaces of the sea

FIRE

Fire
Beautiful fire!
How I long to hold you
Only to become you
You are the brightness of my shadow
Dancing in the trees
On the walls and in the sky
Burning forever in my heart

VIRGINITY LOST

I can remember the first time
I was ever inside her
How she pulled me in
With gentle arms
It was dark and warm
And it felt so good going in
Like Heaven
I never wanted to come out again
From the first bar I ever entered

EVERY

Every day I get a little stronger
A little wiser
And closer
To who and where I want to be

CHANGES

Did you notice the little changes?
That changed you as you were forced
To grow up

SUNLIFE

There is nothing like
A life spent living
In the sun

I WISH IT WOULD STAY

The streets shined in dark gold
Slick with rain
The trees whispered
Secret desires into my ears
Watching me as I walked
Taking my time
Savoring each breath
Choosing my footsteps carefully
There was nothing but possibility on this night
The world looked as though it had been reborn
I wanted to fly through it
I longed to see it with the sky’s eyes
A penguin’s desperation
Being a bird that cannot fly
In spite of my despair
A bright light shined inside my chest
As I took my peaceful soul out for a walk
Wishing it could stay this way
Forever

MIDNIGHT MAN

Sirens screaming in the streets
A can of beer in hand for breakfast
A cigarette for dessert
Watching the morning traffic
Salvaged cassettes playing on the stereo
The park across the street is the scene
Scents of the outside world sliding in
Sleep should be already
Promises and promises spoken
Always broken
By the Midnight Man

DEAD DREAMS

Sometimes all I see
Are the ghosts of my dead dreams
Staring at me without speaking
Accusations burning in their eyes
They hate me for letting them die so easily
For giving up on them
When they needed me the most

DOOR 84

I’m waiting for an opening
It’s been so long now since the beginning
Patience is not something
I’ve been able to master

The door I speak of
A passage
A route
A highway of opportunity

I’ve waited for far too long now
It seems like I’ve missed my chance
In this life
I over looked the opening
In one of my hasty decisions
And who knows?
I’m still looking
I haven’t given up on it yet

TUESDAY

Once again
The front porch was the scene
Of my serenity
A place of peace and logic
A room in which time could be stopped
My troubles ticking away unnoticed
In some other room
As I looked out at the world

I went into the kitchen
To grab a bottle of wine
To bring it to the park
Down
At the end of my street
I sat on the bench
Over looking a creek
The river’s connection
A great view
I uncorked the bottle
And took a sip
I paused as I drank in
The entire scene
I took little sips
As I switched to smoke
I swore to myself
There was nothing
Better on this earth
No place else I wanted to be
Than sitting in the dark
On a park bench
Drinking a bottle
Of home made wine
Watching the world
As it walked by

CLOUDED BLOOD CLOT

The sky is bleeding
Midnight’s tears
Running down the streets
Alive!
Waking nature
From a dry summer’s death

TO BE TOLD

What can I tell you?
About the man you used to know
I don’t know where he is
I can’t remember what his laugh sounded like
The live one that used to light up a room
That smile a treasure uncovered
Rotten now from being forgotten
Goodness gone
The one thing that set him aside from the others
So what can I tell you?
About the man you used to know

25

Twenty five years later
After 1980
I exist as a scrap of humanity
Fighting for a small chunk of the anthill
Clawing and scratching at an invisible door
In 25 years from 2005
I can’t even imagine where I will be
I can only hope that I’ve acquired
My piece of the pie

FRACTURED

For a moment
A mere fraction of a second
I forgot who I was



(back to top)



END OF IT ALL

The end of it all has come and gone
A summer funeral of nighttime song
New seasons born on the deaths of the others
The newborns crying for absent mothers

SEIZE IT

Is it even possible?
To find what I’ve lost
Could I seize it resurfaced?
Finding and seizing are 2 different things
One can stumble across something lost but
Can they grasp it once it’s found?
Separation can split you away from it
Isolating and trapping it in the past
Located down some narrow corridor of memory
While you yourself hold its twitching corpse
Dying in your hands
From having squeezed it too tightly in the night
Drowning in the midst of a dream

SLOW HOT SUNDAY

Slow hot Sunday
An afternoon on its death bed
Telling tall tales of great victories
The coldness of a can in my hand
Reminding me of the 6 am hockey practices
I used to attend
I always missed the Saturday morning cartoons
But now on this slow hot Sunday
I have great stories to tell

TIME ON MY MIND

Nothing on my mind except time
Ticking away until it’s gone
What time is it?
Do you have the time?
Who me?
Never

I ONCE THOUGHT

When I once thought
That to think was beyond thinking
Feeling to feel
For the sake of feeling
Empty tombs of word graves robbed
Why did I not know to say no?
What was I thinking to feel?

DROWN

don’t want to be desperate
I never want to need
Always craving things I cannot have
I’m always desperately in need
Soon I will be overcome
I will drown
Everything happens so fast
There’s no time to stop it now
There’s no slowing this one down
Not anymore

THERE’S NO WAY TO TELL

There’s no way to tell
If I’m still here
If I’m still able
To live
There is no time left right?
To do everything I need to do
There’s just no way to tell

DEAD DAYS

I always watch the sunrise alone
It’s ok
I’m alone too
We’re a pair of loners left behind
As each day unfolds
No one ever looks back to see if we’re coming
No one cares that we don’t
We die for another day of sunshine
Dying everyday

FOREVER

Dragging my feet
To slow the inevitability
Of tomorrow’s arrival
I want to remain within
The cool confines
Of the night’s sleeping death

PAST

I can recall a time when
The future was a dream
An escape from the present
Hope in the unknown

COLD AUTUMN

On a cold afternoon in Autumn
I stared at the sun in the sky
Standing on the river’s shore
I felt my hate die inside
I know now
There’s no reason
To be bitter and angry
There’s no room for remorse
No reason for any of this
Especially when
There’s so much to be grateful for
Each and every day
That I am allowed to live
My stupid little life

OLD SCHOOL

The old schools
I used to attend
Hallways that stank
Like cleaning products
Chalk and piss
Angry teachers
Detention rooms
Gym classes in which
I would always step off to the side
Anti social playgrounds
Circles of angry faces
Awkward moments
Of a shy first love

DO IT AGAIN

If I could do it over again
I would
While knowing
If I were given a chance
To change things
Everything would change
I would have done more than I did
I would try to make it last a little longer
I would do anything to go back
To stay there forever

WHAT TIME IS IT?

How can time slip away so easily?
You can get ahead of it when you are young
You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to waste
Time gets shorter as you get older
It cannot be saved like money
You can’t buy it either
It can however steal from you
Once your time is up
That’s it!
Once your time comes you realize
You were never ahead of the time
You only got ahead of yourself

SO ANYTHING GOES

Everyone will die someday
Everything must end somewhere
Nothing lasts forever
So anything goes

TIMES CHANGE

How the times change
Only to leave me behind
Forever to stay the same

SAME STREETS

Roaming the same streets
For 25 years
Here I am
I’m from here

BLACK RIVER

The past recedes
Becoming a series of memories
Fragments of life
Scattered around the room

TOGETHER

Looming thoughts
Heavy heart
We could fix it
Together

FORGOTTEN LEGEND

I could one day be
A legend forgotten
A ghost conjured
With words
Stories and tales
A legacy
Living longer
Than the life I had lived
SELFLESS ANGEL
The river came up and swallowed you
You went beneath the surface with a smile
You the great martyr
Sacrifice of a selfless angel
The river knows of your kindness
She knows you did it for me
Now I’m alone

TIME SO LONG NO SEE

Come inside my head
Take a seat and listen up
There are no rules in here
Once you cross the barrier
My insides are completely open
Nothing is ever off limits
There are no secrets between us
You’ll be a part of me for awhile
I won’t be able to hide anything
You’ll know it all
Our time together will be pure
Untainted reality
Screaming in your face!
Wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up!

WELCOME TO THE NIGHT

The night welcomed us with open arms
Hiding inside a warm embrace
All of our wants and needs fulfilled
Living for each other’s survival
Without us
The night would have been neglected
Without the night
There would be no stage for us
To perform ourselves upon

DOWNGROUND

There are ways inside
Methods to maneuver
Sliding to solution
Come on down the hall!
To the door
The missing keys on hidden rings
Answers seeking questions
No more lessons learned
As history is burned
To the ground

REWIND

Can we ever go back?
Rewind the lines
Stopping time
Can it ever be the same again?
Could we make it better?
Never!
In vain we’ll try
Attempts in futilities so ironic
We’ll never even know

FADED AND CHAINED

Trapped
Locked
Faded and Chained
To every person I’ve ever been

1 + 1 = 11

I dream of the perfect woman
Who will never exist for me
She’s out there
I know that much
I know her like I know myself
We are the same person
Split in 2
Same soul
Same mole
Same heart
Looking for our reflection
In the shadows
The other half of the whole
I sometimes wonder
If she’s out there searching for me
Lost somewhere in this incoherent chaos
The times in which we live

THE DOOR IS OPEN

If you were able to
Step inside
Would you want to come in?
I’m in here hiding
Waiting and watching
There’s no evil
Nothing sinister about it
I’m only lonely and stranded
Somewhere in the wrong time
Is that you?
Are you coming in?
Come on
The door is open

YESTERDAY

Yesterday was a hole I walked into
The empty realm of myself
Left there alone
To die

TEMPERATURE OF TIME

One must tread fiercely
Against the currents of time
Before they are swept away
Into oceans of memory

FATAL CIRCLES

I’m swimming in fatal circles of flame
Burning
Drowning
Going down

HAPPY

It hurts
I can’t make it stop
It burns
It won’t stop until I’m dead
I long
For the end to come
Salvation for my blackened soul

SEATTLE WINNIPEG

Feels like Seattle out there
Seattle Winnipeg
The sky is pissing sadness down
Fast cars through constant puddles
Drenching the lost ones
Cursed forever to walk alone in the rain
Somewhere else in the dismal city
Shotgun sounds a fatal song
A split second decision
A lifetime of loss
Grayness of a dying day
Sinks into our skin
We become it
The Dream is to die
The Truth is a lie

FAST TIME

Time is going faster
I guess I’m getting older

LOST FOOTAGE

Memories of you resemble
Lost footage on Super 8 film
Grainy pictures
Fragments of your face
I can’t remember
If any of it was real
I never see myself in these memories
Dead times in which I once lived

SOLITARY SOUL

Solitary soul
Alone in crowded rooms
Voices of the past return to haunt me
Chanting truths I cannot deny

LONGING

Longing for the summer’s days
Raining nights awake
Empty streets
Blinding sun
Oceans in the sky
Longing for it all
Inside winter’s prison
White frozen fire
Burning skin exposed
As the night glazes over

I WILL GO

Slipping away from it all
Everyone
Everything
Nothing left to stop the descent
I will fade and fall until
I am no more
One day a time will come
When no one will be able to remember
That I ever existed
When it is my time
I will go out gallantly
With my pride and dignity intact

RELIEVED

Unchained from the past
Freedom now from yesterday’s torment
In the ability to move on
No more looking over the shoulder
To see the gray pale steel of being trapped
If you look it in the eye
It will see you
It will focus on your demise
Turn away!
Just turn around and run unshackled
From the past’s restraints
Dreaming dreams
And only dreams
No more nightmares

THE LONLIEST SOUL

A crowd once gathered on the grounds
Around the bonfire in the yard
They gravitated into my circle
I didn’t even reach out
They just came
I could not turn them away
It’s not in my nature
The time has passed
Into a great compost heap of memory
To rot in the swamps of yesterday

HAND ME DOWN WISDOM

I know the secrets
I can teach them to you
Only if you’re patient

Time must pass
Age in accumulation
Dust must be allowed to gather

You must be willing
You have to be open
You must believe

Clear your mind
Open your heart
Let go of everything

Breath
Look
Touch

Listen
Laugh
Love

Rejoice
Savor
Enjoy

You can come with me
If you are ready

FLOW

Wandering
Pacing distances
Further out each time

Let’s hit the city!
The city hits you back
So crawl into your country cave
To heal wicked wounds
Building courage out of a box

Return to the place of the pain

The streets
Are wet with desire
Slip yourself inside

Into the womb
A new joy
Comfort
Isolation
Perfection in solitude

The womb cracks like glass
A spider web of delicate vulnerability
Exposure at any moment!

First breath
First sight
First death
Then light!

Awareness
Fragility
Alive

In appreciation of the smaller things
Greater than you
Prone to being lost inside yourself
Surrounded by the walls you’ve made

Release!
Freedom!
Confusion!
Fear!

Screaming in your brain
Ringing in your ear
Repeating the pain
Death
Defeat
Denial

The repair of self
Begins at zero

LIFE

The old timers know it best
Because they’ve lived it

CHOKING

I’m choking on the silence
Surrounded by the emptiness
Chained to my loneliness
In a scene that I created



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THE TRUTH IS IN THE STREETS

Bricked walls
Black iron
Dirty windows
Cracked and broken
Newspapers in the wind
Down in the dampness
Of an inner city alleyway
A search is taking place
A search of the soul perhaps?
Maybe
Shadows moving behind the scenes
In search of food and warmth
Mice and men
Living side by side
Down in the dirt
Dreaming of the better days
A time talked of in silence
The truth has a dirty face
Many choose to ignore
Sometimes holding a sign at an intersection
Living day to day
Hour to hour
Begging for money
The truth is living in the streets

AFTER MIDNIGHT

After midnight is magic in the air
There is a feeling out there
Something primitive and powerful
Ancient and wise
Peering out from the dirty alleyways
From the trees and in the streets

REMEMBER WHEN?

I remember what it felt like
To be in love for the very first time
I remember cheating death at the age of 3
My first wet dream at fourteen
No matter how hard I try
I cannot remember being born

IT’S OUT THERE

I feel it
Can you?
It’s out there
Waiting for us
A starving beast
Tip toeing around the skyscrapers
Lying out in the empty fields
Lurking in the parks at night
I feel it
Can you?

27 ROUNDS

Life is a fist fight
Each year
Another round
With each birthday
Comes the ringing of the bell
The rounds change
The fight stays the same
I’m almost on the 27th round
I have to keep fighting
You know what I mean
THIS
This is it right here!
I’ve found something!
Take a good look and tell me what you see

HOLE IN THE HEAD

The hole in the head
A festering wound
The wound is a tunnel
Into to my soul
The rotten
Wide open spaces
Bleeding down my cheeks

SHOW ME

Show me the door
I know you keep it locked
Chained
Hidden
Untouched gold
Held for ransom
Show it to me anyway
I won’t try take it from you
I just want to see it
I want to see you

YOURS TRULY

I truly feel as though
My life is just beginning

IT?

I feel ready for something
I don’t know what it is
I know that I’m ready for it
I want it to come
Whatever it is
I await its arrival with thinning patience
Excitement burning within
I want it
I want it bad
I need it
I hope that it comes one day
To spare me the cruel fate
Of waiting on something that will never come

COME ON

Come on
This is the way
We’ll make it
I promise you
We’ll get there
Go toward the light
Embrace the warmth
Hold onto me
We’re falling!

YOU

I can’t wait to meet you!
I know you’re out there
I know that we’re looking for each other
We have never met
I don’t know your name or what you look like
I know there will come a time
We’ll be in the same place at the same time
I’ll know you’re you
You’ll know I’m me

YOU II

I hope you exist
I wish you were more than just a dream

NO END

There is no end
To the wonders of the world

WATCH

Watch it
Watch it well
No one else is going to do it for you
You have to do it all by yourself
Keep your eyes locked on it
Remember not to forget

TIME

Time moves so quickly
It looks like it’s standing still
You cannot outrun time
Time can only run out

SHOW ME THE WAY

Show me the way
Into the warmth
Guide me
Love me to enter

TREES ALIVE

The trees are alive
Breathing birds into the sky

A FRIENDLY PLACE

In the summer’s heat
Walking the streets
Searching for energy
In every direction
Life
Looking for a source of light
A center
A circle
A friendly place

ANGRY BOY

The angry boy is gone
Along with his suicide scars
His memories of the life he lived
Fragments of dead time
Lost but never missed
He used to dwell on the past
He lives only for today
Tomorrow is a place
He cannot wait to be

A SELF DUG HOLE

He left the streets he knew so well
In search of a new life
Starting over from the ground up
Trying to climb out of a self dug hole
He is eye level with the street now
Happiness is just a foot away from his face

NO

I know things
I can’t explain how I know what I know
I feel it
Some of which I’d rather not know at all
I am forced to face the facts
It’s all or nothing

TIME BURNS

Time burns slowly on days like these
The death of the day is absolute torture
A weekend on its deathbed

A

I am a dream alive!
Awake in my sleeping life
Aware of my awareness
The open door smiles from afar
Begging me to enter
I walk through
Only to find
An exact replica of the other side

SUNDAY



Wandering
In the early morning sunshine
Along the river
Across the city
Away from myself

?

How many times have I been here?
Alone among strangers
Staring out a window
In solitude

THE SECRET LIFE

The secret of life is living it

THE ANCIENTS

I hear the Ancients
Calling my name
Reaching out
From beyond the grave
Pulling me down into the earth
Rise again to rebirth

HOLD ON

The days have been long and warm
Winter is still coming
As summer hangs on for dear life

ELABORATE

I make myself laugh sometimes
The things I do and say
The things I say I’ll do
Life is an elaborate joke
To which death is the punch line

PEOPLE

I see still shots in the streets
People living their lives

FATAL AND FAST

The night knows me by name
We live side by side
In love
Doomed to be damned
Fatal and fast
Flashes of flame
Burning to ash
Only to be blown
By the wind

THE RIVER AND BEYOND

We followed the flow of the river
The trees on the banks guided us
The night unfolded her endless blanket
Wrapped inside her womb
We wandered our streets
Dogs barking in the distance
Stray cats in the shadows
Geese in flight over our heads
As the water welcomed us
We sat on a hill to watch it
Fall was full of life even in death
We knew that winter was coming
Nights like these are rare in our region
So we savored every second we shared

BENEATH

Lost inside my words
Myself in myth
Lost in the world’s bright wilderness
Come inside and see
Do you want to know the truth?
Start digging
Clawing and scratching
Come in here
Be with me
We can bury ourselves together
We can stay here forever
No one has to know
We’ll live out our deaths in darkness
Eternal love
Decomposing
Becoming the earth
Bodies breaking down
To dust

YESTERDAY IS NOT YOURS

Scraps of self
On a carpet of dead dreams
Decayed
Discarded
Don’t turn around
If you do
You’ll see
Many miles of waste
Loss
Spent time
There is nothing for you there
Yesterday is not yours!
As for me
I’ve been doing this for a long time
I’ve walked into the past
Thousands of times
It pounds me down
It pains me
But
It hardens me too
A hard ass hero who cannot save himself
So why would I try to save you?

I REMEMBER EVERYTHING

I told myself to stay out of there
Being the bastard I am
I charged forward into the past
Stubborn hard headed bull
An iron will fueled by ignorant determination
Tell me not to do something and I’ll do it
The past
Yes the past
A nasty place if you’re like me
It’s all you have
Memories of a better time and place
Somewhere you long to be but don’t belong
Mind movies played on repeat
Old torture revisited
Doing the same things back then as you are now
How far back can you go?
I can go forever
Beyond my birth
Past lives
Past deaths
Existences I nearly forgot over time
I remember everything

WHITE DEATH

The sun was swallowed by the clouds
Cold steel of a morning in October
I know the worst is yet to come
Frozen white world of winter
Paralyzed in ice
Lost in the light of a billion crystals reflected
Blinded eyes and heavy sighs
Blistered hands from many shovels
Scooping death from the sidewalk
An opportunity arises
For everyone to be set free!
They can bury themselves in white death
Peaceful
Soothing
Soon!
Spring would come uncover the mystery
The missing would then be found
Revealing decay
Those that are left
Would be inspired to follow

SOMETHING YOU

Can you give me a reason, cause or meaning?
Can you present me with a purpose or a plan?
Is there somewhere you can take me?
Give me something new
Something else
Something you

DAMNED

For years I’ve been asked for advice
They come to me for consolation and guidance
I’ve been the steady stranger in their lives
They come to me with words
Leading into dead end conversations
I’ve wondered why they chose me
Selecting a soul such as I
To spill their guts out to in confidence
A troubled man whose broken mind
Shattered into a million pieces
The damned going to the damned to be saved?
It makes no sense
Maybe it does
Maybe I make them feel better about themselves
When they see someone that is worse off than they are
Someone who can say it out loud

SCRAPS

My mind is a scrap yard in which
A million memories are stored
Heaps and piles of thoughts
Ideas and emotions
Spread out
As far as the eye can see

INNOCENT

Hey!
What’s going on here?
Shine a light down there
Inside is nothing
Except me
Hanging out in my head

A POST CARD FROM HELL

The sky looks like a post card
Sent from the scenic side of Hell
Orange brilliance
A bright burn
Beautiful



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CYCLES SEASONS AND SOULS

Halloween night
Power
Magic
Darkness
Life and death
The spirits in the sky
Seeking souls such as themselves
Lost
Abandoned
Departed

SAY IT OUT LOUD

Say the words
Say it out loud
Tell me your desires
Reveal your insides
Show me your soul
Does it shine like mine?
Let me take you away from here for awhile
Don’t be afraid
I would never hurt you
I never could
You could kill me with your kindness
I would survive you if I could

THE FRUSTRATOR

I feel like I’m standing
On the edge of a cliff
Ready to fly
Unable to leave the ground
Afraid of the fall
The impact is what scares me
I don’t want to make a mess
Someone other than myself
Will have to clean up

FESTA

The world of winter
A silent show
Snow
Light
Night
And glow

DOWN

Death is in your eyes
Staring out from within
The cold finality of it
Sends me into myself
Down to the bottom of my core

COLD SISTER MOON

Come to the river she cried
Down the path
Where shadows walk through the snow
Winter’s widow
A cold sister moon
Dancing madly
In frozen scenes of bliss
Skeletal trees stretching toward the stars
Always out of their reach

TIME

Time pounding
My insides apart
As the seconds slip away
Into yesterday
Tomorrow dies
Knowing that life
Is full of lies

ISOLATED UNIVERSE

A universe forged in isolation
Desperate dreams alive
Empty streets that lead inside
A nowhere for no one to belong
It is here that I’ve made myself a home
In solitude I dwell

DIG

It’s not wise to dig
Don’t poke around
Leave that door closed
Walk away
Take it from me
Stay out of the past!
Live for now
Live for free

I’LL GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME

I’m giving this another chance
I’ll get it right this time
I’m not talking suicide
I’m talking about living life

WATER

We went down with the ship
Beneath the surface
Sucked down into the abyss
Soaked in eternity
Drowned in infinity
Deadly currents
Pressure punches holes
The side of my head is open
My mind is free to wander forever

I WENT TO THE RIVER

I went to the river for sanctuary
Leaving the world behind
It waved good bye as I left
The streets knew that I would return
The river embraced me
I gave her my thanks
In silent blessings
Respect
Everything
Always

CONSTANT CIRCLES

Circles
Constant circles
Spinning inward
Into outward spirals
Rising and falling
Living and dying

BURN

Burn the past
Kill the present
To save the future
The promise of something better
Tomorrow is a dream
Unshaped
Full of potential
Awaiting its time to shine

WAITING

Waiting for the summer
Longing for the spring
So sick of winter
Autumn always brings

RELIEF

The day was bright and warm
Relief to all those who’d been locked inside
Surviving winter’s frozen death

OPEN

Open your eyes to the world
See all there is to see
Perhaps you think that you’ve seen it all
Impossible
There is just too much to look at
So look again
But first
Open your eyes

TIME AGAIN TO TELL

It’s time again to tell time
I just don’t know what to say

ALL I KNOW

It’s lonely in here
Inside this place
No heaven
No hell
Nothing
Nowhere
Emptiness
Space
Time
Loss
I’ve been here so long
It’s all I know

SURVIVOR

I’ve come so far
Being so far gone
I lived through death
I survived myself

STILL HERE

My soul has taken quite the beating
Over the years
My spirit was nearly broken
I’m still here

I USED TO BE ME

I used to be buried beneath layers of self infliction
I used to be a nice guy
I was so full of potential
I used to be something
I used to be me

LONELINESS

It feels like jagged glass
Slicing my stomach apart
Reducing me
Raping me
Tearing shreds away from myself
It almost feels good

MIND

My mind is a welcomed place
It is open and free to new ideas
Craving fresh thoughts
Feeding off raw experience

WHEN YOUR’RE YOUNG

When you are young
You think that tomorrow
Will always be there
As you grow older
You realize
Today is all that matters
It could be your last

TAKE IT

I want to take this somewhere
Someplace further
Beyond these 4 walls
Out there
To a place I’ve never been

EXPIRARY DATE

Time is a tricky bastard
It cannot be rewound
Refusing to be stopped
Moving as we stand still
Time is forever
We are not

SUCH A LONG DAY

Such a long day
Infinite road of hours
I pick them off one by one
A sharpshooter of time
Precise
Clean
Kills

IN THE CAGE

Useless
I press on
I know I’m going nowhere
Around in circles
An invisible treadmill
In the cage
I can smell the cedar shavings
I can taste the plastic water
I gave up trying to get out
A long time ago
I’m just biding my time
Time is indifferent to my struggle
It knows that I exist
It just doesn’t care

TRUTH

The Truth is a hard ass
Especially when you Lie

TILL THE END OF TIME

Bring in the next one
And the one after that
Line them up
Till the end of time

REAL

At least the pain was real
The agony realized
When I used to hurt
All those times I fell and burned
It was all so pure and true
Life and Death were staring me down
Daring me to stare back

UNSENT

I want to go out there
Even though I know
No one else is out there
The No One I’m looking for
Is not looking for me
I miss her
I miss every one of them
Each version
Equal love
Exact loss
Every time

TWO

I was 2 men once
I really was
Until
They walked in separate directions
I took flight
Freedom’s price
A life of loss
To be damned

SOLD

Sell me your halo
Sell it to stone
Pawning your wings
For minimum wage
Trade me your face
For a second of fame

SORRY I’M THE SUN

“Who are you?” she asked him
“Me”, I said
“It’s all I know
A man of bad poetry and sentimental song
A humble creature
Hidden in anger
A man
Just a lonely man”

IN AND OUT

She said in the silence
“I want you inside me”
He quietly obliged
He entered

REQUESTED BEST

“Stay with me a little longer
Don’t sleep
I need you to be alive right now”

STRANGE MAN

The Strange Man is always watching us
Coming and going
Leaving and staying
He remains the same
Never coming
Never going
Never leaving
Always staying
The Strange Man is a mystery
Staring and waiting
Sitting and aging
Who is this man and
Who is he waiting for?

RINGING

Trains ringing in the distance
That faraway sound of metallic life
Moving somewhere
Out there
Beyond

ASK YOURSELF

What if it was the last day?
What would you do?
How would you spend it?
Where?
With who?
And why?

BROKEN CLOUDS

Broken clouds
Swollen sun
Behind cold steel
Staring madly
Crawling through the cracks
Shining down upon us
Blinded smiles
Squinted eyes that sailed
Laughter
The streets beamed proudly
Having so much life dwelling in their midst

OUT IS IN

Out is in to me
I am a nature dweller
I belong in the dirt
Sun and rain
The pulsing air
A living river
This is home

BASEMENT LIFE

I live in a box
Basement life
Breathing behind dirty windows
Watching

REAL


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